I don't know whether to beg for this feeling to stay or if I should be writing about how relaxed and heavy I feel.
I guess, I could write about the words I use to describe this feeling, or I could describe this feeling. I'm indecisive towards what is actually and truly, worth writing about, in so many aspects, there are so many good things, so many feelings.
I discover this situation as another relapse to my losses, and how scared I am of losing more, once I'm there. 
So I write, but then I don't because I don't want to infatuate myself with one thing and let the other trail off into a tred I can't precipitate anything to let it survive and only minutes are almost as spasmodic as this is.